Lt. Joe Kenda- Week 2- Why we should never wear skirts again

After being reassured that the real star of Homicide Hunters: Lt. Joe Kenda would appear for more than 30 seconds an episode, I decided to give it another try. Sure enough, El Paso County Associate Coroner Dr. Leon Kelly did not disappoint.

But Dear Lord this episode was even creepier than last week’s.

Things learned this week- the killer is not always the boyfriend or the Black guy.   Sometimes the killer is the out of state ex con with multiple sexual assaults who keeps a bag of pubic hair behind his waterbed.  Let me explain….

The victim is Vicki Lee Ross, who was found dead in the back seat of her car in a cemetery.  Dr. Kelly told us that she had broken fingernails down to the quick probably from scratching her attacker. Ouch. And, she had crudely shaven pubic hair that was probably done by someone else. Double ouch.  If that isn’t Dr. Kelly’s best quote of the entire series, then we’re in for a real treat this season, folks.

Vicki was found 35 blocks away from her house.  Kenda said it a few times- and was very specific- 35 blocks.  Instead of thinking about this poor girl and her family, my mind was transfixed by the 35-block radius.  Did Lt. Kenda walk these blocks and count?  Did he do simple math?  What type of cemetery is located within a city block grid?  Saying 35 blocks as a tool of measurement is like giving my height in millimeters.

Does anyone really know how far 35 blocks is?  We asked our trusty new assistant Siri, who told us it was a little over 3 miles.   Come on, Kenda, next time just say 3 miles.  I shouldn’t need to use my fancy iPhone as a Rosetta Stone to decipher your crazy number talk.

Like I said above, in twist of fate, it turns out that the killer was actually Norman Wiegand- the last person to see Vicki alive and an ex con out of Louisiana convicted of multiple sexual assaults.  (I know, right.)  Norman also has been known to unwillingly shave women’s nether regions and did I mention he has a waterbed? A waterbed with a bag of pubic hair behind it?  BINGO.  It doesn’t take Siri to figure this one out.

This time, the story ended saying that Norman Weigand is eligible for parole in November 2014. Um, What?!?  This begs the question- what happened to last week’s killer?  Are we going to see a run on murderers hit the streets of Colorado Springs soon?

Siri, I’d like you to set a calendar reminder for November 1, 2014 to make sure that I wear pants and not a skirt that day.  Ladies, the pubic hair killer could be back on the streets sooner than you think.

@KristinMiller – Senior Television Correspondent for All Things Kelly

 

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  1. Theresa
    November 4th, 2011 at 07:25 | #1

    We got to see Dr. Kelly twice in this episode. You are awesome Leon!

  2. November 4th, 2011 at 10:12 | #2

    Thanks, Theresa. In this particular episode I do remember being asked quite a few times about shaved pubic hair and if it was common and how it is typically shaved by oneself or by another. In essentially any other profession that may seem like a strange query, but I didn’t even notice at the time. That’s probably about the 5th weirdest thing I’d discussed that particular day. Thanks for the hilarious review KK. This is better than actually watching the show.

  3. Maya Zarchan
    November 4th, 2011 at 10:37 | #3

    Thank god for Siri and Leon!

  4. November 4th, 2011 at 10:47 | #4

    Leon, it was particular funny as you were the first in the episode to talk about pubic hair. Shane and I both looked at each other thinking- wow, this episode just got a lot more interesting…

  5. lisa
    November 4th, 2011 at 11:07 | #5

    Good review Kristin! I need to find someone local who can record this show for me…

  6. November 4th, 2011 at 11:23 | #6

    Lisa, my parents are recording it for the rest of the family. I’ve been told they were dissapointed in my airtime in the first episode. Not sure how they felt about the second. Maybe you could get it from them. Guess we could do a shaved pubic hair murder mystery marathon at Thanksgiving.

  7. November 4th, 2011 at 11:24 | #7

    @Lisa, I have them all on my DVR, with unfortunately no way of ‘exporting’ them. Maybe your smart husband can give me some pointers? Happy to send you season 1 on DVD for Christmas ;-)

  8. Dawn
    November 8th, 2011 at 15:04 | #8

    @ Lisa, if you have a VCR, I can tape tonight’s episode for you. I realize this is highly unlikely. Just let me know.

  9. Marc Kohli
    November 9th, 2011 at 09:08 | #9

    @dawn – hahahahahaha – we got rid of our VHS player about 3 years ago.

  10. christy
    September 22nd, 2014 at 19:54 | #10

    Is there any way we can start a petition to give to the judge to NOT let this sicko be paroled in november this year, 2014? Id be certain we’d have enough signatures to keep this sicko sociopath behind bars until he is too old to hurt anyone anymore!

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