After being reassured that the real star of Homicide Hunters: Lt. Joe Kenda would appear for more than 30 seconds an episode, I decided to give it another try. Sure enough, El Paso County Associate Coroner Dr. Leon Kelly did not disappoint.
But Dear Lord this episode was even creepier than last week’s.
Things learned this week- the killer is not always the boyfriend or the Black guy. Sometimes the killer is the out of state ex con with multiple sexual assaults who keeps a bag of pubic hair behind his waterbed. Let me explain….
The victim is Vicki Lee Ross, who was found dead in the back seat of her car in a cemetery. Dr. Kelly told us that she had broken fingernails down to the quick probably from scratching her attacker. Ouch. And, she had crudely shaven pubic hair that was probably done by someone else. Double ouch. If that isn’t Dr. Kelly’s best quote of the entire series, then we’re in for a real treat this season, folks.
Vicki was found 35 blocks away from her house. Kenda said it a few times- and was very specific- 35 blocks. Instead of thinking about this poor girl and her family, my mind was transfixed by the 35-block radius. Did Lt. Kenda walk these blocks and count? Did he do simple math? What type of cemetery is located within a city block grid? Saying 35 blocks as a tool of measurement is like giving my height in millimeters.
Does anyone really know how far 35 blocks is? We asked our trusty new assistant Siri, who told us it was a little over 3 miles. Come on, Kenda, next time just say 3 miles. I shouldn’t need to use my fancy iPhone as a Rosetta Stone to decipher your crazy number talk.
Like I said above, in twist of fate, it turns out that the killer was actually Norman Wiegand- the last person to see Vicki alive and an ex con out of Louisiana convicted of multiple sexual assaults. (I know, right.) Norman also has been known to unwillingly shave women’s nether regions and did I mention he has a waterbed? A waterbed with a bag of pubic hair behind it? BINGO. It doesn’t take Siri to figure this one out.
This time, the story ended saying that Norman Weigand is eligible for parole in November 2014. Um, What?!? This begs the question- what happened to last week’s killer? Are we going to see a run on murderers hit the streets of Colorado Springs soon?
Siri, I’d like you to set a calendar reminder for November 1, 2014 to make sure that I wear pants and not a skirt that day. Ladies, the pubic hair killer could be back on the streets sooner than you think.
@KristinMiller – Senior Television Correspondent for All Things Kelly